Monday, August 17, 2009

Lonely

I read a report on a gay old-age home project being initiated by Prince Manavendra of Rajpipla, India. In the report, the prince was very hopeful about his project. It set me thinking. Loneliness, coupled with, old age is a very real possibility for many of us. Would I like to be banished to an old age home years from now?
If I find my soul mate and get married to him, will both of us stay in that old-age home?

One sees so many types of loneliness.

Lonely is the widowed mother whose children are abroad and who lives in a one room tenement in the heart of Mumbai.

Lonely is the derelict beggar on the footpath of a busy highway waiting to cross over to the other side where the garbage bin overflows with last night's delectables.

Lonely is the recovering drug addict who has been thrown out of his house by his family for stealing.

Lonely is the ten year old kid, recently orphaned, who sits by the kitchen of the orphanage watching the boisterous play of the inmates.

Lonely is the gay man, on the brink of adulthood, listening to his parents talk about his marriage with a buxom belle from his village.

Lonely is the old gay man watching, with rheumy eyes, the party animals smooching passionately on the dance floor.

Today I sit by my window watching the Mumbai rain, wondering if anyone's ever going to call and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I read "Sons and Lovers" for the hundredth time. I look at two grey pigeons in amorous pursuit of each other on the roof top of the next building. I spy, with bated breath, thru the window as my handsome next door neighbor walks out of the bathroom wearing only a small towel around his middle. Will he or won't he, take off his towel? He draws the curtains, oblivious to my stare and arousal. The skies are overcast. The roads are starting to flood. I think of the gay couple who have decided to spend the next 5 days together in a neighboring hill station. They had called me in the morning in great glee. Their lives' ambitions are getting fulfilled. I bless them, as only a true friend can. They are the same age as me and have been very lonely before they met each other.

There is love in this world, I decide. It's rationed though. Some of us get left sitting on the sidewalk.

6 comments:

Alan said...

Very affecting, indeed - especially for this 65-year-old man, stranded halfway across the world from his lover.

I like the way you put together this line:

"Lonely is the derelict beggar on the footpath of a busy highway waiting to cross over to the other side where the garbage bin overflows with last night's delectables."

Do keep writing!

Love,
Alan

Gay Man said...

Your words give me courage to write more, Alan!

Akarsh said...

Beautiful piece: keep writing!

Gay Man said...

Thank you Akarsh!

Natural Man said...

I have discovered someone who can write so beautifully and describe what he feels as a gay man, what we feel as gay men what I feel as an old gay man...I am your fan. Don't disappoint me by stopping writing...please go on.

Gay Man said...

Thank you Swami. Your words spur me on to keep writing....